Well I have had this blog all set up and ready to go for several months and I have not found the need to actually author a blog until recently.
The past week has brought on a torrent roller coaster of events and emotion. I personally love this time of year. Times are tough and Christmas will be lean but I have been looking forward to the Holiday's because of these tough times. I have been ready for some cheer for a while now. I love this time of year also for many other reasons. Basketball is in full swing. I appreciate mostly youth, high school and college ball. I coached my daughters junior high team this year after a lay off from coaching. We kicked but by the way. My oldest daughter Gianna is still playing at Menlo and we love to go watch.
The year has been full of wondrous events for me. I started the year with the removal of my ostomy and dealing with the adjustments as a result. I got the call from The Colon Club on New Years Eve to let me know that I was selected as a 2010 Colondar Model. The photo shoot for the Colondar was in June and that was a life changing experience. As a result of that weekend, I have a list of amazing new friends. Bonds were formed on that weekend that will last a life time.
In August many of us gathered in Little Rock Arkansas for The Big Damn Walk for Colorectal Cancer. I was reunited with my new friends from the 2010 photo shoot plus I met more new people and their families.
One of those special people was ripped away from us on Saturday. My friend Shawn Felty lost his two year battle with colorectal cancer. When I met Shawn in June he thought he was in remission and moving on with his life. Just by looking at the scars on his body I knew he had been through a lot. What amazed me about Shawn is that he knew so much about me. He was so intelligent. I read his story but I had forgot most of the details because I was so intimidated about meeting 11 other models and the staff of the Colon Club. Shawn knew my diagnosis date, my surgery date, ,my daughter's, and so on. In fact, when I wore my Cal Bears shirt he unintentionally made me aware of the fact that he knew more about my favorite college sports program than I did. Shawn was cool. He was a warrior. He was special, one of a kind. I only decided to blog because he was a blogger. He did it so well. He injected humor and insight and real life experience into his blogs.
Ironically, when I found out he was having trouble I did not think of checking his blog for details. I struck out. I didn't even get a chance to talk to him. One minute all I know is that he was on a chemo vacation and looking forward to a break. He told me that he wasn't feeling good but he went to the Pitt v. Notre Dame game. He sent me a text from the game. I thought he must be feeling better that is great. I missed the opportunity to go see him. Joe asked me to go with him. Being out of work for 9 months now and being on the Left Coast gave me two good reasons to use to not go. Fucking stupid mistake on my part is what that was. I blew it. I missed out on a chance to see a friend before he died. How was I supposed to know? He wasn't supposed to die! Not Shawn. You see it is crap like this that makes me question everything. I don't want to hear "he has a plan" or "everything happens for a reason". Bull Shit I say to that. Is anybody really keeping score up there?! I mean really! Wake the fuck up somebody and start making sure people like Shawn get passed on by the Grim Reaper. Do you hear me?
Goodbye my friend. Visit me often. I will remember. Go Panthers
